School seriously sucks... most of the time i feel lonly. People wonder why i get depressed a lot yet they do shit to me to make me feel like crap. It's like my OWN friends can sometimes careless about me. I cry a lot in school too. They don't even notice it... or just don't care. seems like my life is going from ba dto worse. I walked down that delightful hallway to english and looked over to see my ex smuching some other girl. I'm over him and all that jazz but he'd NEVER in a MILLION years kiss me or shown any feelings for me around others; actually scratch that, ATT ALL! He just dated me in pity. No one ever really shown they cared for me. I dont matter to most people. I can't remember what a REAL friend is... besides Ingrit...
Peopel wonder why i don't trust esily and hate most peopel i just meet. It's because i had friends... a lot of friends who seemed so caring, so nice but only in the end stabbed me in the back... It makes me feel lower about myself then i already do... I'm aware i'm not pretty... or that smart... but for once, just once i want to meet someone who ACTUALLY cares... not just wants something or play with me like a popet. Like Spenser pretending to like me just so i'll get hurt more when he picke dthe prettier girl, Mykaila. She always says though "Drop it already." but she doesnt get it. That really really hurt me... he PRETENDED to like me to play with my heart like im not a human. Sick and twisted ASSHOLE. so if Myk you read this. I'm not going to EVER for get what he did to me. You know how much i have been hurt by STUPID guys and that was sick what he did to me.... Forgeing it is just like being raped and someone say "Forget it" you can't forget your rape... or a broken heart.
Peopel give me shit about looking up to Pete. I just want to be like him, so carefree and so amazingly nice. To me he is this like GOD. i know he is only a human but what he has down with his life and just being an average boy living in Chicago just inspires me. How can someone that amazing actualy excist?
